Overall it's a compelling story with no major grammatical errors.
Paragraph 1 line 3-5: The descriptive sentences written are to long. For example:
" Hastening towards the thick clumps of trees ahead and intuitively looking up to the blue crystal sky, she notices the sun has been silently following her, accompanying her to the end of the horizon."
I would rewrite the sentence and break it into two separate ones. Additional the descriptive words themselves are lengthy.
Paragraph 1 line 8-9: "Confront" should not be capitalized at the start of the quote.
Paragraph 2 line 15-16: "Don't" should not be capitalized at the start of the quote.
Paragraph 4 line 1: When using small numbers its best to spell them out. Example "eight" instead of "8".
Throughout the essay, you capitalize the first word that appears in a quote. The first word of a quote should be lower case.
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