Graph 1: I would split "Every year, when October 9th approaches..." into two sentences. They don't flow well.
Graph 2: "I don’t got no driver’s license". I assume this is transcribed from what people told you. I would still change the word "got" to the word(s) "have a...". Also, I'm curious why the lazy person is the only one who doesn't speak correctly?
Graph 3: "According to the U.S. Census Bureau’s..." I would split the sentence in two.
Graph 3: "Several" is a strange way to describe the results of a mass census. I would change it to " X percent of these..." Or " thousands of these..."
Graph 3: They are not registered to vote right? By definition, they are not voters. I would change the word "voters" to "respondents".
Graph 3: "And many Americans hold valid concerns:" Strange colon use in this sentence. It's far too long as well.
Graph 3: "I can’t help but find it irksome" I would change to " I still find it irksome" or something to that effect. This particular point needs to be rewritten.
Graph 3: "Automatic Voter Registration...". Good solution clearly stated.
Graph 6: "Several other states have approved and enacted AVR systems..." I would write as one sentence.
Graph 6: "valuable legislation eventually...bodies" sentence segment drags on for too long.
Graph 7: I would split this sentence into two.
Graph 7: "Campaigning" should not be capitalized.
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