Nature is a common language
Graph 2: " what 'nature is a common language' ". Instead of going straight into the quote I would specify with " I started thinking about what the phrase ' nature is a common language'..."
Graph 2: I would replace with "make any sense about this topic at first" with "grasp what exactly this phrase meant"
Graph 2: no "the" needed before nature
Hello everybody. Today I’m presenting my speech about “nature is a common language”. Don’t expect me to be good at this or even make a logical point about this topic, so enjoy it?
When I started to write my speech about this topic, I didn’t even understand it and even now I don’t fully understand it.
So, I started thinking about what “nature is a common language” could mean, it was hard to make any sense about this topic at first, then I thought: what if the common language of the nature is every human’s experience of the nature, such as the joy of the ocean breeze, the pleasure of strolling through a forest, or a fear of the sound of thunder. But then I realized that you can’t develop a speech talking about that. Soon after an idea popped up in my head: what if the nature connects us and brings us together all around the globe even with the absence of linguistic skill or using the tongue to speak words.
But still, how can nature bring us together? That is a difficult question to answer. We all basically use nature in so many ways, either consumption or entertainment, but still, I can’t just point it out exactly.
Graph 3: "basically " in the sentence "use nature in so many ways" isn't needed. you are already saying we are using nature. Try to cut down on so many unnecessary words. Especially within this sentence as nature is something everyone uses.
Graph 3: "either consumption or entertainment" could be replaced with "ranging from consumption to entertainment"
Graph 3: "just point it out" drags on for to long you could replace with "specify"
Graph 3: I would replace "amongst different groups as well" with "of different use cases." The reason why is that in your following sentence you are discussing use case not different use cases.
Graph 3: "These all correlate between groups." Correlate doesn't make sense in this context. Maybe "These are all used between different groups"
Graph 3: I would replace "everything" with "everyone" as you are talking about people
Maybe what brings us together is sharing the multiple usage of nature. Let’s try to think of commonalities amongst different groups as well. We all have needs that must be met, for example, urination, defecation, nourishment, shelter etc. These all correlate between groups. It’s important to understand that there is an impertinent biological aspect to this as well. These needs are fairly easy to communicate without a language being a mediator, because everything has to deal with them.
All this we could call “instincts”, but nowadays more people drift away from these instincts. For example, an author named Jack London heavily relies on humankinds’ relationship with nature. In one of his books “To build a fire” he talks about how a man started to drift away from nature and relies on technology to survive instead of instincts. More and more technologies are being made and to make computers, phones and on and on, we consume what nature gives us. Like in the book, people start to rely on technologies and we too, because of that we start to eradicate nature. Due to us destroying the nature, problems occur for us. For instance, the greenhouse effect. We help other people and this “instinct” of helping others is implemented from birth, it is the same for other animals. When we see an injured dog or a bird with a broken wing, we help them, but we can’t forget to help the nature too. We need to reduce the greenhouse effect, recycle, drive more with an electric cars, plant more trees etc. Some animal species became extinct, perhaps in the future humankind will disappear as well.
Graph 4: In the sentence "Jack London heavily relies" "relies" may have a slightly negative connotation implying that London is using the concept as a crutch. I would discuss how it's a common theme in London's work or how he focuses on it
Graph 4: "he talks about how a man" I would replace with "London"
Graph 4: "and relies" in context I would replace "and began to rely"
Graph 4: "More and more technologies are being made and to make computers, phones and on and on, we consume what nature gives us." This sentence could be simplified. Just focus on the core point of more technologies are being made and that fact that we must consume nature.
Graph 4: "we too" could be remove
Graph 4: no "the" needed before nature
Graph 4: since you are referring to the plural word "electric cars" the word "an" is not needed
Without nature we are nothing.
Nature united us to evolve, discover new things, construct advanced inventions that lead us to where we are now. We need to reunite to save nature and we shouldn’t have any questions why, due to nature being a common language.
Graph 5: "have any questions" could be replaced with "ask"