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<- ESSAYS
CRITERIA
Benjamin Franklin Analysis

A solid start on the essay. Some word choice issues and slight historic exaggerations. Benjamin Franklin was a skilled craftsman, coming from a family of seventeen children. Graph 1 Sentence 1: who came from a family with seventeen children

Graph 1 Sentence 4: phrase "held its weight" isn't clear

Graph 1 Sentence 6: "where eventually" isn't clear. I suggest dropping where and keeping eventually

Graph 1 Sentence 8: "focusing in" should be focusing on

Graph 1 Sentence 9: "times in throughout" the word in is unnecessary
He and his brothers were all involved in different crafts, spanning from printing to masonry. Educationally, Franklin was enrolled in college and had attended a grammar school as a young child. Franklin’s belief in God was strong, he believed truth came from integrity and held its weight. Later on in life Franklin’s love of reading drove him to establish the Philadelphia public library. Franklin and his brother were able to print and write articles in the newspapers, where eventually Franklin and his brother were thrown in jail for. Franklin knew what he believed in and stood by it. He stood by his many Bible quotes in juncture with others, focusing in their lack of order. Franklin, along with Junipero Serra and Eliza Lucas Pinckney all had strong values, education, and family to get them through the tough times in throughout their lives.

Graph 2 Sentence 6: "Franklin were driven to the New World to spread their love and integrity of God". Wasn't Franklin born in the New World? How was he driven to it then? Junipero Serra also had a strong belief in God, he was baptized the day he was born. Similarly, education was important to the Serra family to educate the newer generations. Serra was educated by Franciscan monks at his primary school, later on he graduated from Lullian University with his doctorate in theology. Serra’s love for God took him a step forward than Franklin, allowing Serra to join the priesthood at the ripe age of fifteen. Both Serra and Franklin were driven to the New World to spread their love and integrity of God, in hope for something better. Serra landed in Mexico where he volunteered in Sierra Gorda, preaching, later moving up to San Francisco.

Graph 3 Sentence 4: "While," is not necessary to start this sentence Eliza Lucas Pinckney was a strong independent woman who never took gender norms to heart. Pinckney was a hard working woman from England who found herself in charge of her family as well as three plantations. She was business minded, and tried anything that seemed to be doing well, in this instance textiles. While, in the crazy daze of taking care of her siblings and plantations, she was able to get married and have four kids. She educated each one of her sons, but died bankrupt and with ruined property from the wars. Pinckney’s fall from grace had nothing to do with her business but rather the war’s ruing her land.

Similarly, Pinckney, Franklin, and Serra were all hard workers. From working in farms, to family businesses, they were all team players and went along with whatever life threw at them. Franklin and Serra were very God fearing in their everyday lives, which gave them the discipline later on to affect so many lives through the way of God, and even values that they learned from their religions. Pinckney and Franklin were very family oriented. They both took care of their siblings at a very young age, and even Franklin went to jail with his. All three people, were educationally based. Serra was taught by monks while, Pinckney was taught by the world around her, and Franklin attended a few schools. Pinckney went on to make sure her sons had a background with education, and enrolled them in school.

Ultimately, all three people were hard workers, intellectually driven, and disciplined people. They all had a sense of something to prove. Pinckney was able to support a household and run three plantations at a young age. While, Franklin the youngest of seventeen children was able to educate himself through books and business ventures such as, printing and bookselling. Serra was able to spread the word of God by becoming a priest at the young age of fifteen. All three people were able to go to the New World and be a working member of society. Franklin and Serra went on to become prominent members of the Thirteen Colonies, while Pinckney’s sons helped in the wars later on. Without Pinckney’s strong yield for education her sons would not be as involved in the wars. All three folk had strong understandings with people, and really focused on key elements of family.
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