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<- ESSAYS
CRITERIA
the cause of crime. Criteria: correct grammar, and formal sentences. I hope your help. thank you so much

Some people believe that crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
It seems like the intro of the paper is missing. This may be an early draft but it's hard to read the beginning turn to a life of crime

consider a life of crime better than a regular job-believing crime brings in greater rewards, admiration, and excitement-at

least until they are caught

Graph 1 sentence 1:
"characteristics is" should be "characteristics are"

Graph 1 sentence 2:
"for commiting offence" should be "that commiting crimes"
It is supposed that innate characteristics is a greater cause of the commission of crime.Others, myself included, argue for commiting offence is largely a consequence of social issues and poverty.

Graph 2 sentence 1:
" person’s" should be " a person’s"

Graph 2 sentence 1:
"have long been viewed to" should be "can"

Graph 2 sentence 3:
" to become a thief or robbery" should be " become a thief or robber."
Graph 2 sentence 3:
"in a night or less an hours of action they comeback with the amount of money equivalented with salaries maybe in months or years working earned."

This reads awkwardly and goes on for too long. There is a way to get to the point faster.

One suggestion:
" Within a night or less...they comeback with money equivalent to a months salary."
Graph 2 sentence 4:
"...those who are" should be "...people who are"

Graph 2 sentence 4:
"offence than genttle ones". Gentle is mispelled. I would rewrite the sentence as:
"offenses compared to gentle people."

Graph 2 sentence 5:
I would replace "settlement" with "actions"
There is a belief that person’s nature have long been viewed to provoke crime behavior. First, a certain group of people find some ways that they can gain monetary instead of making an honest living through working hard. The lazy and greedy, for instance, choose to become a thief or robbery in a night or less an hours of action they comeback with the amount of money equivalented with salaries maybe in months or years working earned. Second,those who are aggressive more likely to commit offence than genttle ones. Chances are impulsive people will choose violence over peaceful settlement and what followed is turn to a career of crime.

Graph 3 sentence 1:
I would replace "behind" with "of"

Graph 3 sentence 3:
I would replace "have" with "that has"

Graph 3 sentence 3:
"contemparatory" is misspelled. It should be "contemporary"

Graph 3 sentence 3:
I would replace "lead" with "has lead to"
Nevertheless, it seems to me that social issues and poverty are the main cause behind crime. There are many problems in society which lift up the crime rate. For example, the unemployment have climbed in our contemparatory society lead the rise of crime. Being losen the source of income, they find themselves a way to support their kids is steal or cheat the others in the street or pickpocket in the market. Graph 3 sentence 4:
"Being losen the source of income," I would start the sentence with "Losing" and delete "Being"

Graph 3 sentence 4:
"is steal or cheat the others". I would rewrite as "by stealing from or cheating the others"

Graph 3 sentence 5:
"fastest way out". you need a period at the end of the sentence

RESPONSE:
i think the conclusion of my essay is missed out

RESPONSE 2:
Hmmm. The end of your essay might have been cut off on your original document before it was submitted.
Poverty also breeds malicious intents that unlawful, yet lucrative activities typically provide the easiest and fastest way out
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